Hell for Beginners

by Test Prints

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    Limited edition (100) CDR in a digipack with thermo-print CDR and handmade 28-page booklet.

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  • Cassette + Digital Album

    Limited edition aqua blue cassette in a handmade cardboard envelope and handmade 28-page booklet

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  • Hell for Beginners T-shirt

    Devil commanding witches to trample Bible in white on gray shirt. Screen print.

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Recorded in September 2014 by Łukasz Ciszak.
Mixed and mastered by Haldor Grunberg/Satanic Audio


released March 8, 2015

Joanna Jurczak: voice, bass
Łukasz Ciszak: voice, guitar
Maciek Misiewicz: drums



all rights reserved


Test Prints Warsaw, Poland

Joanna Jurczak: vocals, bass
Łukasz Ciszak: vocals, guitar
Maciek Misiewicz: drums

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Track Name: End Well
It is time to move along
And enjoy my yesterdays
I am simply uninvited
Guest who overstayed

It’s not gonna end well
It was never meant this way

No more fear of missing out
‘cause there’s really nothing left
What a dreadful waste of time
It’s good it’s coming to an end
Track Name: Provoking
Selling ads, waiting for the sign
Kissing the mirror, killing with scissors
Waiting for star, waiting all night
Smoking all day, easiest decay

Sneering, scoffing, chaffing, mocking
Nice people are so provoking

Cigarette burns marks on your skin
When you grow up, you will see
Track Name: Wrong
I know that you are wrong
But it won’t change nothing
I will keep it on

Never map out an intense runaway
Slip away and change your yesterday

I’ve been long in the shade
Watching passing time, feeling cast away

You know that I am wrong
But it won’t change nothing
You will keep it on
Track Name: X&Y
I guess it’s kind of both
The X and the Y
I know the range I’m in
I’m not sure about the sign

From the very start
They’ve been here to stay
The sense of impending doom
And the need to fail
Track Name: Ghost/Shadow
Ghost shadow
You are a sleep tattoo
Listening to the Death in June

Pills for dinner
The air is a sleeping gas
From all the girls
You are the last

Saddest name
Is already taken
You will never
Be mistaken
Track Name: Bad News
Bad news, bad news
It is still not today
All we know is it’s been moved
But we don’t know yet the date

Bad news, bad news
We’re not going anywhere
There’s been some miscalculation
We might need to change the plans
Track Name: The Inevitable Heat Death
So that’s how it’s gonna be
All the heat will cease to flow
Final state of standstill
Humble end to it all

And I hope it will be sometime soon
Finally something to wait for

There’s no point to it all
There’s no reasons to carry on
There’s no point to it all
We’re all gonna die alone

But if this one turns out wrong
I’ll enjoy anyway
The Big Rip or the Big Freeze
Track Name: Go Home
The old man’s gone and we are alone
In this stupid house
We can do what we want
But I don’t want to do anything with you

Go home
You’re a neurotic stupid gnome
Leave me alone

Your voice is annoying,
Your face makes me cry
And I can’t stand it
Even if I tried, tried so hard.
Track Name: Gene Pool
I blame everyone I know
For all that’s gone so wrong
I don’t know if I still care
I have never felt so bored

Now it’s two of them today
And I think I really know
It is them who should survive
And most likely there is no
Place for me in the gene pool
Track Name: Ape Song
Feeding monkeys
seemed to be a perfect start
And too bad, feeding apes was not allowed
anything could have happened next
Doesn’t matter - it was never gonna work.

Not long after
one of the chimpanzees drowned
It was really an ironic follow-up
I was sad that it all came to an end
Doesn’t matter - it was smart to stay away

I believed we could be more than that
As expected, I did do my best to fail
Track Name: Go Away, Jesus
Go away, Jesus
We’re so tired of your tricks
Go away, Jesus
We’ve had enough of your shit

Don’t try to heal or resurrect
Sell your magic someplace else
Go away, Jesus
We don’t wanna be saved

Dont’ make us beg
Just keep being dead
Don’t take the wheel
And just go away

Go away, Jesus
We’ve already seen this all
“For my final trick I need
A volunteer and a cross”
Track Name: Countdown to Apocalypse
It seems you have been wrong
right from the start
There is no other way
to cut down this absurd
There are no reasons for
but quite a lot against
Like whatever we do is out of fear of death

And if we are to lose
We’re gonna lose together
And if I’m to go down
I’ll drag you down with me

Slippery slope - we’re closer everyday
We couldn’t be more wrong
‘cause nothing can make sense
And if I need a meaning,
I need to pick my own
It’s just a waste of time
‘cause every choice is wrong.